Always
by KinkerBelle
Summary: Rayne. Smut. River and Jayne need to have a talk. The third of three responses to the "Nothin' But Smut" Challenge over @ Copper for a Kiss. Turn away if smut be not what you seek.


"There's no time for dreams. We've almost run out of night," River whispered.

He crept down the hall, shadows dripped in liquid blackness down the walls. River stood in front of him.

"Rise from where you rest, my Jayne. Our sunset is upon us…"

His feet sunk into the grating, shredding the soles of his boots. River giggled at him and reached out for him. He smiled, she always made him smile.

"Particles falling downwards. Our hour is ending."

She floated on weightless combats boots towards him, the witchcraft of her sparkling eyes extended outward to glitter like the mystery she was in a halo around her. She was easily the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Come back to me… come back to me…"

His hand touched her shoulder, the fabric there was flimsy, easily ripped.

"Hold your eyes up to my veins, call out, call out my name."

Jayne's eye's flicked open into the seemingly solid blackness of his bunk. Blurry in a weird kind of way, his eyes still fogged with sleep. To his left, he could feel the warm heat of River snuggled into his side. The cost of remembering her presence beside him was a sharp pain in his chest.

Three months in and he was still having trouble with the idea. Even lying beside her, sweat dried all over him from their latest romp, he still felt that stab inside his chest. Out of some misguided attempt to soothe the pain, he rubbed at the spot. Over his heart.

Guilty. All the time. He was so… ashamed. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew it was going to get him in trouble. It made him sick with anxiety. A girl like River in the arms of a man like him weren't something intended to last. Fleeting as it was though, he couldn't seem to stop. She was always there, on the backs of his eyelids when he tried to close them. He could never have a moment's peace.

She slithered against his side. He manfully ignored the shiver it sent through him. Under the covers, her little hand traced circles on his upper thigh. Jayne stared into the darkness of his bunk and waited for her to say something. She always broke the silence.

"We're almost out of night, you know?" She said, her breathe fluttering over his chest, ruffling the hair there. He shrugged, mindful of her head resting on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I figure it's about 4:00, maybe 4:30."

Jayne felt her head shake rather than saw it. "No. Not just this night. All nights."

"Huh?"

"We are vampires. We exist only in shadow."

Jayne frowned. That was another thing, he still couldn't understand half of what she said. To tell it full and true, when she wasn't on about 'Right there! Harder!' it was a gorram battle trying to figure what she meant. Always.

"…Um… we only fool around at night? Is that right?"

River nodded, her hair sliding across his bicep softly. He grinned into the dark surrounding them. "Correct. We skulk in the dark and play our wicked games. No more."

Jayne tensed. Every part of him wound itself into a tight knot. Rejection sneaks up on a man funny that way. You never knew when it was about to hit you but afterwards you always tried to brace yourself for it like that'd help at all. Maybe make it look like that was what you'd been tryin' for all along. Not with River. Even when he couldn't see her face or eyes he knew she was starin' at him, seeing right through him. She always was.

His jaw felt wired shut. There was a battle of wills in him for a moment. Stay silent, keep his jaw shut and avoid the pain inside him altogether. If he opened his jaws it might all come tumbling out and that was not something big bad mercenaries did in the dark with crazy little girls. No talk of any kind. Or… he could relax, see what became of him. Never being one for playing it safe, Jayne systematically began to wind down. First, his hands came apart from their tight fists. Second, his chest loosened so that his back was flat on the mattress, and so on until he was just breathing in and out and it was ok.

"Yer done with me then?" He asked bluntly.

River sat up, pushing away from him. Jayne felt that damned stab again. He could feel her eyes on him. Before he could rightly understand what she was playin' at, the room exploded with light. His hand flew up to his brow, shielding his fully dilated pupils from the harsh glow of the bedside lamp.

"This is what comes from dabbling in the dark." She said disgustedly.

"What?" He asked, worried for his health with that angry look settled so deep in her brown eyes.

"All we are is shadows, Jayne! We cannot walk in the light!"

Jayne frowned at her, eyes finally adjusting to the glare of the lamp. "You mean… we cain't… be… something. Sorry, I ain't sure what."

River sighed tiredly. "We are vampires." She said, as if that made the matter quite clear.

"We got our souls sucked out?" he questioned, drawing the sheet up closer to him, he didn't exactly love it when she got like this: especially crazy talking and edgy. She rubbed at her temples in what looked like exhaustion.

"If we walk in the sunshine, we would be burned. Not our choice but it would happen. We've spent so long in the dark, hidden. Hidden."

"Sneaking around?"

River nodded and spared him a smile. He sighed. At least he could get something right. "So… we cain't walk in the light cuz we been sneaking around at night? Tellin' folk then, you mean we can't tell folk." He reasoned out loud.

River never seemed to mind when he had to make that last bit of effort to figure it out. In fact, she always seemed to light up just a bit, glow a little bit more. The girl across from him took his hand. "Accurate. We are trapped. Undead."

Jayne rolled his eyes. River had what her brother called (rightly) a penchant for the dramatic. And after he'd got it explained to him, he definitely agreed. "You wanna be telling the crew, huh?"

River shook her head. "I like my shadow space with you. We are alone together and the night belongs to us alone. In the best sense, ever present, because immortal." Jayne stroked her soft fingers under his rough ones.

"So what's this about?"

"Mal has had a dream. He thinks we spend too much time together." Jayne scowled. Why was it that one way or another, Mal had to hoard in on anything good what happened to him? Always.

Sure, Jayne did spend his fair share of time with River but who in the hell else was gonna? Kaylee and the Doc were never apart, Zoe preferred her time solidly alone these days and Mal and Inara never let each other out of the other's sight. Where were the two of them left? Together, that's where. In the grand scheme of things, this was (as usual) entirely Mal's fault. He got to feelin' all maudlin and guilty about leavin' River alone and with nothing to do but hear the voices inside her own damn head, so he'd told Jayne to take her out.

There'd been obvious rules, all of which he'd eventually broken, for the outing. Don't touch her, don't think about touching her, don't say anything mean/crude/at all. And when the first one had gone so well… Mal'd just kept ordering it more often so's River had something to do. Or someone. Though Jayne was pretty sure Mal didn't know about that part, else River wouldn't be so concerned about him gettin' suspicious-like.

"Cap'n had a dream 'bout us?"

River shook her head. "Not so much us. You, really."

"Ew."

"Not like that."

"Still."

River shrugged. "Irrelevant. Focus, Jayne. He watched you follow a ballerina into a cave, the ballerina was not specifically me, and he will not remember all of the dream. But when he wakes, he will start examining you much more closely. Should we take no action we will be found in approximately a week."

Jayne closed his eyes. He still held her hand but for some reason he didn't care to identify, looking at her was not a good idea just then. "What's the plan?"

Her hand shook a little bit. Jayne cracked open a lid and watched the salty tears pool in her eyes. "We have…" she paused to bite her lip. "We have two options. We can stay hidden, and be found. There will be a lot of shouting. Or, we can inform the crew of our situation. There will be a lot of shouting."

Jayne nodded. Sort of unavoidable, the shouting part. He dropped her hand and tried to breathe in enough air to tell her that the second choice was not an option.

"Or, the third option, we could break this off right now." He muttered.

River curled away from him, wrapping her arms around herself and huddling against the wall. "That is also…" she hiccoughed, a sad, beaten little sound. Jayne definitely didn't want to be looking at her. "That is also an option."

"An' it don't involve no shoutin'."

"Just hurting."

"Hurtin' I've known plenty of."

"And what? You've never been shouted at? I find that difficult to believe."

"Yer awful set on leavin' out the part where after I git shouted at, I git spaced. Thrown. Out. The. Airlock. An' then, _then_ I git pulled down into the special hell fer one o' the two things that git ya there, an' I ain't been talking in no theaters!" Jayne said tersely.

River rolled up to kneel on her knees and clenched her fists. "Not a child! You of all people, and I use the term 'people' loosely here, should know that."

Jayne sat up straighter and growled at her. "Girl, you an' I both know this thing's gotta end here."

River slapped him. The sting exploded in his cheek and lingered long after it should have faded. "I never would have dreamed I'd have bedded such a rutting _coward_." She said acidly, then stomped form the bed.

She grabbed her bra, forgotten on the floor, and slipped it on, buckling it hastily. Why was she always her most articulate and sexy when she was pissed? Always!

Jayne scrambled out of the bed after her. "I ain't no coward."

"Double negative. Stating that you are, in fact, a coward."

"Da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la-doo-tze! You and your gorram grammer! I'm sick of it! It's time I moved on anyway!"

"Trying for increased promiscuity? How very 'Brave New World' of you Jayne. I should have known better than to swap spit with an Epsilon."

Jayne frowned. "What?"

"Perhaps my next bedfellow will understand common literary references."

Jayne reeled back like she'd slapped him again. River's eyes lit up. "Ah ha! So that's a problem area for you is it? Is considering the possibility of me fornicating with other men a sore spot?" She said, advancing on him.

All the platinum in the verse couldn't have persuaded Jayne to admit that he was actually backing up as she came towards him.

"You don't want to think about me writhing beneath someone else. You can't stomach the thought of me begging another man for climax." Bile hopped up his throat and he forced it back down.

"Shut up." He gritted out from behind clenched teeth.

"It will happen one day, Jayne." Her smooth bare knees brushed against his (definitely not quaking) rough counterparts. "One day far after you've let me go I will heal." She said, sounding like even she didn't believe herself. Jayne twisted his hands into the mattress, fighting not to touch her.

"The question remains that if you have such trouble with the concept of me in another man's arms: why are you letting me go?"

And why did she always have to look so pretty when she made sense? Jayne let out a frustrated sigh, untangling his hands from the sheets. He spread his knees and tiredly tugged her forward towards him.

"I'm… not." He grit his teeth and just said it before he convinced himself what a bad idea it were. "Remember the second option? The one I didn't like?"

"Yes."

"That seems like what I'd… let's do that one, ok?"

River shook lightly in relief. "Ok."

"Would you take an ornery old merc back?"

River looked up at the ceiling, a few saline droplets spilling from behind her eyes. "We were never really broken up. Never the less, yes, I would."

Jayne sighed, falling into her smooth belly and rubbing his nose there. "You know me, I git stupid sometimes."

River laughed softly, the edge of tears still in her voice. "It's been made evident."

Jayne kissed her stomach. She sighed. He loved that sound. He also secretly loved that she would only ever make that sound for him. Only. He dipped lower, nibbling and licking at the skin just above her underwear. She ran her fingers through his hair. Slowly, his hands skimmed up her legs, inch by inch he re-introduced himself to her.

When at last his calloused finger tips rounded her soft hips she let out an uneven breathe. Her own hands drifted up to her bra, unbuckling it and letting it fall back to the floor. He looked up from his task at her belly and grinned as she brought her hands to her small breasts. He loved watching her touch herself.

His thumbs rubbed light circles on her hip bones, his mouth still savoring the skin inches from where he could tell she really wanted him to attend to. Her hips began to rock lightly towards him. He was hit with the smell of her arousal suddenly. She always smelled like nothing he'd ever been able to pin down. Like girl and something else, something precious. His thumbs hooked into the elastic of her panties and slid them down inch by torturous inch.

His textured palms followed the fabric down and his lips affixed themselves to a spot just in the hollow of River's hips. Right before her belly flattened out again, there was this smooth dip that became her hip bone. He sucked hard on it. River let out a startled moan, short and heart felt. Jayne grinned against her skin and cupped her ass in his hands, squeezing fondly.

With no warning, he raised her up off the floor and tossed her back onto the bed. She giggled. Jayne could never figure as to why but fer some reason his girl really liked being handled. Getting tossed about or held down was one of her things. In a moment of brilliance, Jayne reached down to the floor beside the bed and found his long since unused cargo pants. The belt slipped easily from its place in the hoops.

Lightening quick, he darted forward and scooped her hands up to tie them together. With no headboard to utilize, he dipped down to kiss her lips softly, while tying the other half of the belt to the bed frame beyond her head. River tugged on her restraints and moaned when her motion was found to be drastically restricted. Jayne laughed.

"I think I'll keep you a while longer."

"You don't have to tie me up to keep me." She said with a lustful smile.

Jayne smirked, reaching down and thrusting three fingers inside her dripping wet center. Her feet came up to plant themselves on the mattress, allowing him better access to her. "But you like it so much."

River groaned and thrust against his hand. The merc kept his fingers still and placed a hand on her belly, not letting her move. She whimpered. That was a sound he could stand hearing for always. He slid down to be level with his fingers and kept eyes contact while he began to lick at her. Small flicks of his tongue at first, just teasing, while his fingers started a slow, almost cruel rhythm inside her. She cried out.

"Aww! Oh, Jayne! I need… harder, please!"

Jayne responded, licking harder in a forceful strokes across her clit. She bucked against him as he sucked her clit into his mouth. She was a jumble of mismatched phrases. "Hot… so hot, god I need you. So good, deeper, love your tongue. Need you."

Jayne thrust his fingers faster, picking up the pace as he went. He could feel her tense beneath him, straining at her bonds. She clenched around his fingers, turning her head into her arm, muffling as best she could the sound of Jayne's name as she came hard.

Before she had even come down Jayne was up the bed and without his boxers, thrusting into her. River almost came from the sensation alone. Jayne thrust shallowly, one twice, three times and she came apart again. A few tears escaped her and she gasped and shuddered beneath him.

Jayne held very still. When he was sure she'd come down again, he reached up and undid the belt around her hands. River looped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Her eyes caught his and they shimmered.

"Could you ever…. will you ever love me Jayne?"

Jayne scooped her up to him, and rolled them so they lay side by side, still joined. He could feel the beating of her heart against his. Like an echo of him inside of her. He didn't answer, just buried his face in her hair. River hitched a leg around his hip.

She slid her arm down to sneak underneath his, snaking up around his ribcage to settle clutched against the back of his shoulder. He held her much the same way. He pulled out of her and then as slow as he could, slid back in. River buried her face in his chest and let out the softest cry he'd ever heard her make during sex. Sustained and soulful, like she couldn't believe what was happening to her.

He pulled out to push back in the same way, rewarded with the same noise. He pulled out, slick wet tension making them both clutch at one another. In again, the speed accenting every single sensation of the way he rubbed inside her. River kept making that sound, aroused beyond thought and disbelieving that sex could ever feel as emotional as it felt just then. He pulled out once more, even slower, she felt every part of him. As he pushed back in she shuddered, body on the brink of yet another orgasm.

Pulling out again, something inside Jayne snapped, maybe his control, and he slammed roughly back in. River screeched in pleasure. His thrusts became quick, harsh. River thrust back against him. Jayne shifted her lower against him, hitting her clit every time her thrust back in. River's moans became louder, feverish, desperate. Jayne squeezed her tight and sped up more, coming hard inside her.

Hearing his whispered "Always." as he came was went sent River over the edge a third and final time.

* * *

A/N: Credit where credit's due (this was surprsingly reference heavy)-

"Hold your eyes up to my veins, call out, call out my name." are lyrics from the Alexz Johnson song "Liar, Liar"

"In the best sense, ever present, because immortal" is William Penn, More Fruits of Solitude

"How very 'Brave New World' of you Jayne" is sort of self crediting but in case that wasn't picked up on- Brave New World and the references to it belong to Aldous Huxley


End file.
